The Circuit

Forty congregations across four counties, reached by bus. Standings reflect the most recent issue.

First Baptist of Harlan Crossing

Rev. Thomas Hale — Current Overall: A-. Trend: C- (Vol. I, No. 3) to A- (Vol. IV, No. 37). Posture A+, twelve consecutive. Necktie oxblood, Windsor, knotted throughout since Vol. I, No. 3. Sleeves: rolled.

St. Agnes Catholic

Fr. Aloysius Brennan — Current Overall: A-. Confessional Demeanor: blank. Kneeler bolt: loose, eight consecutive issues.

Sister Marguerite — Current Overall: A-. Warmth Without Familiarity: B-. Requests to inspect the Editor's backpack: four, the fourth in writing, unopened.

Grace Fellowship Community Church

Brother Danny Cole — Current Overall: D+. Curriculum has not left the D range since Vol. III, No. 22. Snack Quality is the swing category. Refers to the Editor as office equipment.

Mount Zion Pentecostal

Pastor Ezekiel Rawls — Current Overall: C+. Ejections: six. Time Management: F, every issue, and it is not going to change.

St. Mark's Episcopal

Fr. Whitcombe — Current Overall: A. Ten minutes.

Mr. Pruitt, Verger — Column open. Blank. Lowered a shelf without being asked.

Bethel Lutheran

Quarterly Lock-In — Overall B. Bottom bunk, wall side, reserved.

Mr. Gunnar Lindqvist, Volunteer — A- on first assessment. Bunk Discipline A+.

The Route 9 Church Bus

The Driver — Overall B-. Rearview Mirror Discipline: D-. Twenty-nine minutes of fifty.